Mabh Savage
Words and the world passing by; how it sings to me; how I clamour back.
Ocarina
Definitely in my top ten of gifts this year. An ‘ocarina of time’ from my beloved. Now I just have to learn how to play it…
Meadowsweet
My friend took me for a walk around New Galloway, and amongst the brambles and cow parsley we found beautiful meadowsweet, also known as mead wort or Queen of the Meadow. Although a useful herb, especially to a home brewer like myself, we didn’t pick any, as the bees were enjoying the flowers too much.
Vice: Depression
No, I don’t mean a vice like smoking, or drinking, although I do succumb to those from time to time. Today’s depression is like an actual vice, the kind you had in wood work class, and my brain is the substitute for the two-by-four.
Gradually someone is winding the handle, bring the jaws of the vice closer together, gripping the tender greyish pink of my poor brain ever tighter. To make room for this, my eyes are starting to bulge out; my sinuses are on fire and throbbing; my ears pop and my own blood pressure and heartbeat are the only things I can hear.
My brain held tight, unable to move; no flashes of inspiration or leaps of fancy. No jumping for joy in these jaws of judgement: judged unworthy, hopeless, helpless, hapless; judged a joke, a waste, a failure…
Yet I know none of it is true. I, the owner of my brain and therefore my destiny, knows I am not a failure. I am, even, marginally successful in my chosen field! I am certainly successful as a mother and as a partner, and have happy people around me to prove it. But these convictions and the reminders thereof do not free me from the vice.
I thought, for the first time today, what it would be like to have someone loosen the vice. I can’t do it myself. I’ve tried. The doctor has tried with tablets; my CBT specialist has tried with words and pamphlets and apps and appealing to my spiritual side. So who turns the vice? Who can unwind this apathy?
I don’t have an answer, not today. Some days, it feels close. Close enough to touch. But not, I fear, today.
Orchid
This orchid has been with me for about eight years, but hasn’t flowered for around five of those. So the below picture pleases me greatly.
Red Kite
My beautiful friend Carol took us to a Red Kite feeding station near Laurieston. My iPhobe camera wasn’t really up to the task but I was quite pleased with this shot.
Contract!
I’m incredibly happy to announce that I have been offered a contract for my second book, Celtic Witchcraft! Watch this space for more updates.
Celtic Witchcraft: Proposal Submitted!
I just submitted a proposal to get Celtic Witchcraft published as one volume. Breathe…breathe…
Notes from the Apothecary: Lavender
Politics for the People
I was really moved by MP Mhairi Black’s maiden speech in the House of Commons. If you haven’t yet heard it, please go take a listen. She joins Jeremy Corbyn as one of the few MPs that are addressing the fact that our current government does not speak for the majority of the people in the UK. She hits every nail on the head, and I can only hope that these nails hammer hard into the coffin of our outdated, archaic government.
Mabh Savage 