NaPoWriMo Day 5: Piss-Taking Weather

When, in Britain, has it ever

Been so balmy

Calm in March and April?

Warm sun, some wind but nothing really too


Smatterings of rain but hardly

April showers.

No deluge

No late frosts

I’d happily plant my summer bulbs out

If I didn’t think this weather

Was taking the fucking piss.

I mean, seriously,

Am I meant to believe

That it’s a coincidence?

That we’re all stuck inside and limited

To yards and gardens

Flagstones and patios

Balconies and Juliets

Or simply a window;

And it does this?

This blazing springtime glory?

Or maybe,

I have it all wrong,

And actually, we’re giving the land

A much-needed break,

Fewer cars, fewer fumes, less industry…

Could that mean milder weather?

Clearer skies?

Calmer storms?

Scientist, feel free to debunk,

Because to me, it’s just as likely

That this springtime verdant glory

Is simply a divine piss-take

At our expense.

And we deserve it.

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