Mabh Savage
Words and the world passing by; how it sings to me; how I clamour back.
Pigeons
The pigeons sat on me
The day I took the train.
I’d seen the old man
A local, perhaps
Or a tourist, but such a lack of
Surprise
At his avian invaders
He stood beneath the sighing sycamore
While feathered rats
Stood politely on arms and shoulders
Then he moved away,
As if nothing of import
Had occurred.
I stood in the same spot
Thinking nothing of it.
Within moments,
Feathery warmth assailed my arms
My shoulders
Then up to my neck
Nuzzling my hair
Then alarm started to set in
As one flew onto
The top of my head.
I felt its claws
Its beak
Hunting for bugs
Scrabbling for purchase
Panic’s knife edge threatened
But I moved carefully
And they gently flew to the ground
Landing in leaves and moss and grass.
The pigeons sat on me
I’d thought the old man special
Gifted
And perhaps he was
For his patience
And perhaps I was too.
Back to School
I’ve spent the summer holidays in a bit of a daze. We had an amazing honeymoon in Rhodes, and, quite frankly, didn’t really want to come back.
The sting of returning to a seemingly increasingly miserable country was somewhat assuaged by getting to spend time with the kids. We’ve done park, seaside, cuddly movies, game days, science days; but still, it’s gone in a whirl and the boys are back to school tomorrow and Wednesday (two different school with slightly different calendars).
I want to be pleased. It’s a great opportunity to get back into a structured routine. A regular sleeping pattern. Scheduled tasks. But, I guess I just don’t really relish it. I like lazy morning in PJs, or impromptu lunchtime meet-ups, or friends just popping in for a play date. I miss it during term time.
So, how to stay motivated? Well, I have a lot of work to do. I mean, a lot. I’m working on a book on environmental paganism, five separate essays, plus my “day job” which is copywriting for various brands. I’ll have so much more time to work, and once I get into a rhythm, I really do enjoy my work. The satisfaction of a job well done really helps when my mood is low, plus I relish the research and cross referencing- yeah, I know, I’m weird.
I think my mantra for the day is “Focus on the positive.” Clichéd, but I think it’s the only way to start school term again without being utterly miserable. And if I’m miserable about school starting, how are the kids gonna feel?? At least they get to spend even more time with their friends plus there’s a range of activities that are only on during term time- plenty of silver linings for this September cloud.
Time to suck it up, make the packed lunches the night before, fold the new uniforms and bag up the PE kit. Secretly though, I’m already looking forward to October half term.
Friday Feeling
Things that made me happy this week so far (my attempt at telling depression to bugger right off).
CHaOS science day at Oakwell Hall. Lots of experiments for the kids to try out. Baby ran amok across the grounds and we saw newts, rats, rabbits and various insects.
Spent some quality time with the husband. Stayed up way too late, mind. Zzz…
Took all the smaller children to Mini Breeze at Farsley. Was worried the boys would be super disappointed as it was too windy for the inflatables to go up, but they spent ages in the Bam Van making their own music track, and playing with the baby. Caught up with good friends. Watched the baby go nuts over three guide dogs (in a good way).
Booked a massage for the weekend.
Cleaned out a crazy cupboard.
Read a lot. Again, staying up too late.
Started to find motivation for paid work again, something which had been lacking since returning from our honeymoon in Rhodes.
Lots of baby (toddler) cuddles. Lots and lots.
What’s been your happy moment this week?
Trees!
Doing a bit of last minute research before my appearance on Radio 4’s Beyond Belief, being recorded on Wednesday.
Crystal Phoenix Art
Sometimes I just like to share my favourite things with you all. Here is my favourite Etsy shop, Crystal Phoenix Art. I’ve known the owner and craftsperson for many years and she is lovely and incredibly talented. Everything in her shop has 30% off right now so please go take a look and treat yourself. I have a number of pieces and they are all stunning.
The Rain Roars
The rain roars down
A lions last attempt
To eviscerate
The zebra of sun
From the jungle of cracks
In the pavement
A whip crack of water
Slashing holes
In lawns, borders
Ants dive for cover
In the jungle of cracks
In the pavement
Not realising
They seal their own doom
Hear the rumble
The crackle
The inevitability
Not thunder
Or lightning
Just rain, rain, rain,
Flooding in and filling
Every space
Pouring between bins
Banging on the flu pipe
Rattling in the vents
And sealing the jungle
Of cracks
In the pavement.
You Can.
Self doubt can be a crippling thing and believe me when I say I understand that not everything is achievable, whether that’s due to energy levels, mental health, or other obstacles.
But don’t ever let anyone tell you what your story has to be. You are the one who decides what you can do, or at least in partnership with those who are truly on your team.
I’ve just signed a book contract for a project about living a greener, more sustainable life as a Pagan. I’m so excited about this, as it feels like a great way to contribute towards our community.
I’ve also started working completely freelance, as some of you know. The first two months have been, well, challenging financially, but I’ve stuck at it and now have regular work writing about health and nutrition.
I have a lot of great support and I don’t pretend I could do any of those things without it. Thank you, and I hope that whatever your dreams are, that you have a way to move closer to them becoming a reality!💕
