Mabh Savage
Words and the world passing by; how it sings to me; how I clamour back.
Always
I was always falling for you
My whole life
Sometimes dancing so close to the edge
Hearing the call
Of your tales
Both terrible and comic
I felt for you
Like no other
I fell for you
Little by little
You guided my empathy
As I grew
I always protected
Defended the underdog
The one the others
Turned against
My foundational ethics
However dubious
Came from you
As I orbited
The rim of the cave
For twenty years or more
I denied myself this
Until even my other guides
Raised a metaphysical eyebrow
Pushing me, gently yet inexorably
Into your embrace.
You transform me
You burn away
The echoes of doubt
You shrug until I stand
On my own two feet
And we both laugh
When I stumble
In a matter of days
You helped me take
Myself less seriously
So much less
Than ever before.
You made me humble and proud
All at the same time
Worth so much more
Than this coffee
(Milk two sugars)
I bring you each morning
And the spiced mead
We drink together
At night.
I was always
On my way here
And falling never felt so much like
Flying.
Inspired by Loki
Huge amounts of UPG here, read my Disclaimer post for more clarity.
I’m not and never have been a Heathen, or involved in Norse Paganism of any kind. I have, however, always had an enormous fascination for the mythology, history, and culture of Scandinavia and the Norse, and in particular, as a child, was enormously fond of Loki. I imagine there are plenty of children who identify with the Trickster.
Over the last few years, my thoughts and feelings have wandered to Loki and then away again. Over the past year, in particular, this was happening more and more often. This came to a head when I was commissioned to write a poem for a charity auction winner. I asked what topic they would like. The answer was Loki. This felt like an enormous coincidence considering my thoughts at the time, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that Loki is very popular and well loved, so perhaps not that much of a coincidence at all.
Writing this poem for another was like opening a hidden hatch in dark room. I can’t share the poem here, because I literally gave it to the winner to keep as their own, but the themes of change and transformation just seemed to flow onto the page. Researching for the poem reminded me of my childhood love and admiration for Loki, and since then I’ve become what I can only refer to as attached to the Trickster God.
I was a little frightened and confused at first. Having no basis in Norse religion, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was biting off more than I could chew. Thankfully, good friends steered me towards some reliable, inclusive sources and information, and I was able to get some advice on discernment, imagery, associations and more. I’m so grateful to those taking the time to be there for people like me: stunned, floundering, and basically wondering what on Earth is going on!
My reunion with Loki as an adult is quite possibly the most intense thing that has ever happened to me. After 5 days of spiritual whirlwind and a slew of UPG-rich poems and journalling, I finally calmed down a little (just a little) and settled back into some more serious reading and researching. I’ve set aside a space for Loki and created a Spotify playlist of songs that make me think of this inspiring God. Loki gets fresh coffee on a morning and mead at night.
Re-meeting Loki in this way has also inspired me to attend to my other deities more, too. It’s as if I’ve been reminded that my divine connections are real and vital, and that caring for them is also about caring for myself and my spiritual well-being.
Takk fyrir guð minn.
Monday: Moon Day
I’ve been thinking a lot about the different aspects of my Pagan path lately. One of the things that has been constant since I was very young is my fascination with the moon. I think it’s the fact that the power of the moon is incontrovertible. That beautiful satellite moves the tides, affects the water table, and changes appearance on a cycle that’s as fixed and predictable as the sun rising and setting – and yet those cycles can affect us all in completely different ways.
My favourite phase of the moon has always been waxing gibbous. Not quite full, but in anticipation of completion. Growing, slowly yet inexorably. Filled with promise, plump and gorgeous, teasing at greater things to come.
Right now we’re moving into the final quarter of the moon, just shy of waning gibbous and almost to a perfect waning half moon. Recently, I considered why I’ve never thought as deeply about the waning gibbous as I have about its waxing counterpart. I decided to try and write a few words about it. This is what I scribbled in my journal:
…the plans that seemed so promising at the waxing gibbous seem impossible now… but you still have the power… your energy is lower but do what you can… your will you keep going and see out those plans… let your feet keep moving and see where they carry you…
I love that last sentence. Let your feet keep moving, and see where they carry you. Sounds like the start to quite an adventure.
Lightning Eyes
I don’t understand
How people can’t tell
I’m walking around
With lightning eyes
Your fire light struck me
Ran through me
Like magma
I’m glowing with lava
Red hot to the touch
Slap a radioactive
Hazard warning sign
On my back
And send me into
The decontamination showers
That won’t do any good
It’s pouring
Out of my soul windows
And into the world
Every laugh
Every word
Every touch of kindness
And sarcastic whip
Every choice to be brave
And ask for what I want
Or make my own luck
You struck me
I fell
How can’t they tell?
I’m dancing around
With lightning eyes.
Frosty Morning
Soft grey sky
Belying the killing cold
Temperatures plunging
Diving in to that icy pool
Wood pigeons fluffed up
Cocky against the cold
Marching smugly
Through frozen grass
So steely
The wind doesn’t have a chance
But we stay inside
Admiring echoes
Of misty Niflheim
Wondrous at beings
Resilient enough not only
To bear it
But to revel in it
To thrive in what can kill
Having said that
We smile and create
A tiny corner of Muspelheim
With nary a fear
Of burning the house down.
Cold Moon
January’s full moon has many traditional names, from Wolf Moon in America to Old Moon, Snow Moon, or Cold Moon in Europe. I like Cold Moon – it’s frosty right now in Yorkshire, not snowy, and January is a deep, cold month. It encourages us to rest and recharge, but holds a dark and inviting well of inspiration to draw from for the year ahead. Combine that with the energy of the full moon and you can start to really feel the anticipation for what’s to come thrumming and thrilling through your veins.
Thank you to my beloved husband for stopping to take this photo of the full moon rising into a glowing sunset. Stunning.
PaganAid Auction Live!
There’s only a short time left to grab one of the amazing items in the PaganAid auction! Many items are bespoke or unique, and I’ve donated a poem that’s written just for you – go and name your price!
PaganAid is a charity that works to fight poverty and protect Mother Earth. Currently, the charity is raising funds to support indigenous peoples in the Amazon rainforest, and to help protect the forest itself. Find out more about the amazing work PaganAid is doing here.
The auction is now a yearly tradition, and I have a few choice items that I’ve won over the years, including a bespoke Red Fox ornament that’s currently on our tree.
This years auction winners could take home signed copies of a number of popular pagan books, handcrafted plaques and Godposts, or even a stunning runic steel gauntlet that’s currently only at £30! An easy way to get your solstice gift shopping done – and raise some money for an amazing cause. Go see what’s on offer at this link. I’m off to bid on some rather beautiful Yule cards!
Autumn Equinox: Reflect, Relax, Rejuvenate
This equinox lead up has been a melting pot of fiery sunsets, a huge and glimmering moon for three nights, and an unhealthy dose of insomnia. Colour me not surprised to find out that many of my magical colleagues have also been kept awake by the weird and wonderful energies of the season. Late one of these sleepless nights, while gazing tiredly at the Harvest Moon, three words popped into my head:
Reflect
Relax
Rejuvenate
The equinoxes have always been a time of reflection for me. What’s happened so far this season? What am I planning for? What am I happy with? What do I need to let go of?
Relaxing is a different kettle of fish. I naturally find it hard to unwind, and at this time of double school transition for our house, and tentative planning to safely go away somewhere, plus a thousand other demands on my tome, relaxation seems a distant dream. Magic, of course, is about making the impossible possible! So I need to find the time, even if it’s only 15 minutes here and there, for stillness and peace.
Rejuvenation is about filling whatever cups are currently empty. I believe that what you need changes rapidly, so keeping an eye on what your daily “fuel” is can help you keep on top of your energy levels. To be absolutely clear, that’s something I’m failing miserably at, right now. I’ve let stress take over and I’ve taken my eye off the internal ball, so to speak. However, this weekend I’m meeting (safely) with kith and kin, spending time outdoors, and time with the kids without the incessant demands of school. I can’t bloody wait!
Whatever the equinox means to you, I wish you well and may you carry warmth and happiness with you into the coming season.
Mabh Savage 