The world creaks
I stand on my step
As if I felt
Something is growing
The earth warms
The sky cries
And the world
The pigeons sat on me
The day I took the train.
I’d seen the old man
A local, perhaps
Or a tourist, but such a lack of
At his avian invaders
He stood beneath the sighing sycamore
While feathered rats
Stood politely on arms and shoulders
Then he moved away,
As if nothing of import
I stood in the same spot
Thinking nothing of it.
Feathery warmth assailed my arms
Then up to my neck
Nuzzling my hair
Then alarm started to set in
As one flew onto
The top of my head.
I felt its claws
Hunting for bugs
Scrabbling for purchase
Panic’s knife edge threatened
But I moved carefully
And they gently flew to the ground
Landing in leaves and moss and grass.
The pigeons sat on me
I’d thought the old man special
And perhaps he was
For his patience
And perhaps I was too.
I’ve spent the summer holidays in a bit of a daze. We had an amazing honeymoon in Rhodes, and, quite frankly, didn’t really want to come back.
The sting of returning to a seemingly increasingly miserable country was somewhat assuaged by getting to spend time with the kids. We’ve done park, seaside, cuddly movies, game days, science days; but still, it’s gone in a whirl and the boys are back to school tomorrow and Wednesday (two different school with slightly different calendars).
I want to be pleased. It’s a great opportunity to get back into a structured routine. A regular sleeping pattern. Scheduled tasks. But, I guess I just don’t really relish it. I like lazy morning in PJs, or impromptu lunchtime meet-ups, or friends just popping in for a play date. I miss it during term time.
So, how to stay motivated? Well, I have a lot of work to do. I mean, a lot. I’m working on a book on environmental paganism, five separate essays, plus my “day job” which is copywriting for various brands. I’ll have so much more time to work, and once I get into a rhythm, I really do enjoy my work. The satisfaction of a job well done really helps when my mood is low, plus I relish the research and cross referencing- yeah, I know, I’m weird.
I think my mantra for the day is “Focus on the positive.” Clichéd, but I think it’s the only way to start school term again without being utterly miserable. And if I’m miserable about school starting, how are the kids gonna feel?? At least they get to spend even more time with their friends plus there’s a range of activities that are only on during term time- plenty of silver linings for this September cloud.
Time to suck it up, make the packed lunches the night before, fold the new uniforms and bag up the PE kit. Secretly though, I’m already looking forward to October half term.
Things that made me happy this week so far (my attempt at telling depression to bugger right off).
CHaOS science day at Oakwell Hall. Lots of experiments for the kids to try out. Baby ran amok across the grounds and we saw newts, rats, rabbits and various insects.
Spent some quality time with the husband. Stayed up way too late, mind. Zzz…
Took all the smaller children to Mini Breeze at Farsley. Was worried the boys would be super disappointed as it was too windy for the inflatables to go up, but they spent ages in the Bam Van making their own music track, and playing with the baby. Caught up with good friends. Watched the baby go nuts over three guide dogs (in a good way).
Booked a massage for the weekend.
Cleaned out a crazy cupboard.
Read a lot. Again, staying up too late.
Started to find motivation for paid work again, something which had been lacking since returning from our honeymoon in Rhodes.
Lots of baby (toddler) cuddles. Lots and lots.
What’s been your happy moment this week?
Doing a bit of last minute research before my appearance on Radio 4’s Beyond Belief, being recorded on Wednesday.
Sometimes I just like to share my favourite things with you all. Here is my favourite Etsy shop, Crystal Phoenix Art. I’ve known the owner and craftsperson for many years and she is lovely and incredibly talented. Everything in her shop has 30% off right now so please go take a look and treat yourself. I have a number of pieces and they are all stunning.