Always

I was always falling for you

My whole life

Sometimes dancing so close to the edge

Hearing the call

Of your tales

Both terrible and comic

I felt for you

Like no other

I fell for you

Little by little

You guided my empathy

As I grew

I always protected

Defended the underdog

The one the others

Turned against

My foundational ethics

However dubious

Came from you

As I orbited

The rim of the cave

For twenty years or more

I denied myself this

Until even my other guides

Raised a metaphysical eyebrow

Pushing me, gently yet inexorably

Into your embrace.

You transform me

You burn away

The echoes of doubt

You shrug until I stand

On my own two feet

And we both laugh

When I stumble

In a matter of days

You helped me take

Myself less seriously

So much less

Than ever before.

You made me humble and proud

All at the same time

Worth so much more

Than this coffee

(Milk two sugars)

I bring you each morning

And the spiced mead

We drink together

At night.

I was always

On my way here

And falling never felt so much like

Flying.

Inspired by Loki

Huge amounts of UPG here, read my Disclaimer post for more clarity.

I’m not and never have been a Heathen, or involved in Norse Paganism of any kind. I have, however, always had an enormous fascination for the mythology, history, and culture of Scandinavia and the Norse, and in particular, as a child, was enormously fond of Loki. I imagine there are plenty of children who identify with the Trickster.

Over the last few years, my thoughts and feelings have wandered to Loki and then away again. Over the past year, in particular, this was happening more and more often. This came to a head when I was commissioned to write a poem for a charity auction winner. I asked what topic they would like. The answer was Loki. This felt like an enormous coincidence considering my thoughts at the time, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that Loki is very popular and well loved, so perhaps not that much of a coincidence at all.

Writing this poem for another was like opening a hidden hatch in dark room. I can’t share the poem here, because I literally gave it to the winner to keep as their own, but the themes of change and transformation just seemed to flow onto the page. Researching for the poem reminded me of my childhood love and admiration for Loki, and since then I’ve become what I can only refer to as attached to the Trickster God.

I was a little frightened and confused at first. Having no basis in Norse religion, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was biting off more than I could chew. Thankfully, good friends steered me towards some reliable, inclusive sources and information, and I was able to get some advice on discernment, imagery, associations and more. I’m so grateful to those taking the time to be there for people like me: stunned, floundering, and basically wondering what on Earth is going on!

My reunion with Loki as an adult is quite possibly the most intense thing that has ever happened to me. After 5 days of spiritual whirlwind and a slew of UPG-rich poems and journalling, I finally calmed down a little (just a little) and settled back into some more serious reading and researching. I’ve set aside a space for Loki and created a Spotify playlist of songs that make me think of this inspiring God. Loki gets fresh coffee on a morning and mead at night.

Re-meeting Loki in this way has also inspired me to attend to my other deities more, too. It’s as if I’ve been reminded that my divine connections are real and vital, and that caring for them is also about caring for myself and my spiritual well-being.

Takk fyrir guð minn.

Monday: Moon Day

I’ve been thinking a lot about the different aspects of my Pagan path lately. One of the things that has been constant since I was very young is my fascination with the moon. I think it’s the fact that the power of the moon is incontrovertible. That beautiful satellite moves the tides, affects the water table, and changes appearance on a cycle that’s as fixed and predictable as the sun rising and setting – and yet those cycles can affect us all in completely different ways.

My favourite phase of the moon has always been waxing gibbous. Not quite full, but in anticipation of completion. Growing, slowly yet inexorably. Filled with promise, plump and gorgeous, teasing at greater things to come.

Right now we’re moving into the final quarter of the moon, just shy of waning gibbous and almost to a perfect waning half moon. Recently, I considered why I’ve never thought as deeply about the waning gibbous as I have about its waxing counterpart. I decided to try and write a few words about it. This is what I scribbled in my journal:

…the plans that seemed so promising at the waxing gibbous seem impossible now… but you still have the power… your energy is lower but do what you can… your will you keep going and see out those plans… let your feet keep moving and see where they carry you…

I love that last sentence. Let your feet keep moving, and see where they carry you. Sounds like the start to quite an adventure.

Lightning Eyes

I don’t understand

How people can’t tell

I’m walking around

With lightning eyes

Your fire light struck me

Ran through me

Like magma

I’m glowing with lava

Red hot to the touch

Slap a radioactive

Hazard warning sign

On my back

And send me into

The decontamination showers

That won’t do any good

It’s pouring

Out of my soul windows

And into the world

Every laugh

Every word

Every touch of kindness

And sarcastic whip

Every choice to be brave

And ask for what I want

Or make my own luck

You struck me

I fell

How can’t they tell?

I’m dancing around

With lightning eyes.

Frosty Morning

Photo by photos_by_ginny on Pexels.com

Soft grey sky

Belying the killing cold

Temperatures plunging

Diving in to that icy pool

Wood pigeons fluffed up

Cocky against the cold

Marching smugly

Through frozen grass

So steely

The wind doesn’t have a chance

But we stay inside

Admiring echoes

Of misty Niflheim

Wondrous at beings

Resilient enough not only

To bear it

But to revel in it

To thrive in what can kill

Having said that

We smile and create

A tiny corner of Muspelheim

With nary a fear

Of burning the house down.

My Blog – A Quick Disclaimer

Everything I write on this blog is based purely on my own experiences and my own UPG (unverified personal gnosis), unless otherwise specifically stated. I feel it’s a good time to put this as I’m committing to blogging more as part of my current spiritual journey, so I don’t want anyone suddenly citing me as a source or, conversely, becoming irate because I don’t know what I’m talking about. Quite often I will, in fact, not know what I’m talking about! Sometimes I do, of course. I try and differentiate between the two and cite good sources where possible.

For Irish Paganism and deities, the most respected sources I have found are The Irish Pagan School and Morgan Daimler. Source material is widely available with a bit of research but I often use CELT and the Mary Jones website.

I’m not a heathen or Norse Pagan, but I may be blogging more about Loki this year and these blogs will fall roundly into the “I don’t know what I’m talking about I’m just happy to be here” category. I’m grateful to friends for pointing me in the direction of the Lokean Welcoming Committee, and beyond that I’m exploring the original myths again, and reading Pagan Portals: Loki and Worshiping Loki. Expect related blogs and poems (so many, many poems) to be hugely UPG.

For Hekatean practice, I’ll cite sources as appropriate but expect experiential blogs and UPG – for example, I personally equate Her sacred crossroads to the power of choice.

Practically Pagan: An Alternative Guide to Planet Friendly Living is out in April and if I’m blogging about the topics in this book, I do know what I’m talking about as the research that went into this book was painstaking. Protecting our planet is of the utmost importance and I am passionate about this subject. Of course, some stuff is still opinion based and experiential and I do try and make this clear where needed. Preorder from any good book shop! 🙂 The same goes for the Pagan Parenting book I’m co-authoring. Links to follow once I have a publication date for that one.

Finally, my magical and seasonal practice generally draws directly from nature so my sources for this range from books to spellwork to standing outside and staring at the moon until my eyes water. I’m currently writing about birds so I’ll cite sources for folklore and mythology for anyone interested.

Thanks for reading. I’ve been cited inappropriately before and it makes me uncomfortable as there are more informed voices than I. My writing aims to entertain and inspire, and if it prompts you to seek more deeply, that’s a win all around.

Feel free to drop a comment if there’s a particular aspect of any of these topics that you’d like me to explore!

Cold Moon

January’s full moon has many traditional names, from Wolf Moon in America to Old Moon, Snow Moon, or Cold Moon in Europe. I like Cold Moon – it’s frosty right now in Yorkshire, not snowy, and January is a deep, cold month. It encourages us to rest and recharge, but holds a dark and inviting well of inspiration to draw from for the year ahead. Combine that with the energy of the full moon and you can start to really feel the anticipation for what’s to come thrumming and thrilling through your veins.

Thank you to my beloved husband for stopping to take this photo of the full moon rising into a glowing sunset. Stunning.

PaganAid Auction Live!

There’s only a short time left to grab one of the amazing items in the PaganAid auction! Many items are bespoke or unique, and I’ve donated a poem that’s written just for you – go and name your price!

PaganAid is a charity that works to fight poverty and protect Mother Earth. Currently, the charity is raising funds to support indigenous peoples in the Amazon rainforest, and to help protect the forest itself. Find out more about the amazing work PaganAid is doing here.

The auction is now a yearly tradition, and I have a few choice items that I’ve won over the years, including a bespoke Red Fox ornament that’s currently on our tree.

This years auction winners could take home signed copies of a number of popular pagan books, handcrafted plaques and Godposts, or even a stunning runic steel gauntlet that’s currently only at £30! An easy way to get your solstice gift shopping done – and raise some money for an amazing cause. Go see what’s on offer at this link. I’m off to bid on some rather beautiful Yule cards!

Autumn Equinox: Reflect, Relax, Rejuvenate

Glowing skies above West Yorkshire

This equinox lead up has been a melting pot of fiery sunsets, a huge and glimmering moon for three nights, and an unhealthy dose of insomnia. Colour me not surprised to find out that many of my magical colleagues have also been kept awake by the weird and wonderful energies of the season. Late one of these sleepless nights, while gazing tiredly at the Harvest Moon, three words popped into my head:

Reflect

Relax

Rejuvenate

The equinoxes have always been a time of reflection for me. What’s happened so far this season? What am I planning for? What am I happy with? What do I need to let go of?

Relaxing is a different kettle of fish. I naturally find it hard to unwind, and at this time of double school transition for our house, and tentative planning to safely go away somewhere, plus a thousand other demands on my tome, relaxation seems a distant dream. Magic, of course, is about making the impossible possible! So I need to find the time, even if it’s only 15 minutes here and there, for stillness and peace.

Rejuvenation is about filling whatever cups are currently empty. I believe that what you need changes rapidly, so keeping an eye on what your daily “fuel” is can help you keep on top of your energy levels. To be absolutely clear, that’s something I’m failing miserably at, right now. I’ve let stress take over and I’ve taken my eye off the internal ball, so to speak. However, this weekend I’m meeting (safely) with kith and kin, spending time outdoors, and time with the kids without the incessant demands of school. I can’t bloody wait!

Whatever the equinox means to you, I wish you well and may you carry warmth and happiness with you into the coming season.