NaPoWriMo Day 5: Piss-Taking Weather

Posted on April 11, 2020 by

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When, in Britain, has it ever

Been so balmy

Calm in March and April?

Warm sun, some wind but nothing really too

Forceful,

Smatterings of rain but hardly

April showers.

No deluge

No late frosts

I’d happily plant my summer bulbs out

If I didn’t think this weather

Was taking the fucking piss.

I mean, seriously,

Am I meant to believe

That it’s a coincidence?

That we’re all stuck inside and limited

To yards and gardens

Flagstones and patios

Balconies and Juliets

Or simply a window;

And it does this?

This blazing springtime glory?

Or maybe,

I have it all wrong,

And actually, we’re giving the land

A much-needed break,

Fewer cars, fewer fumes, less industry…

Could that mean milder weather?

Clearer skies?

Calmer storms?

Scientist, feel free to debunk,

Because to me, it’s just as likely

That this springtime verdant glory

Is simply a divine piss-take

At our expense.

And we deserve it.

NaPoWriMo Day 4: Tough Like Old Leather

Posted on April 11, 2020 by

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belt

I told a friend

“Today was tough

Tough as old boots

Tough like old leather

Tough like the steak

I sent back

And worried about the chef spitting on

Tough like the conversation

I had to have

With a toxic person

Another toxic person

Gone now

Tough like the song

I can’t remember the words to

Who wrote it?

I just.. It’s on the tip of my…

Tough like the times

I didn’t know

If they would let me go home

Or keep me in hospital

Tough like ripping phones books

Finding Wally

Getting to bed before midnight

With three kids in the house

And working two jobs

And no government help

And no help

Just each other to weather

The storm

Tough like old leather”

I said. But I smiled

As I said it

Because at least

We have each other.

NaPoWriMo Day 3: Isolation Haiku

Posted on April 11, 2020 by

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Open the window

Taste sky, smell laughter, eat hope;

Breath in the bird song.

In the Garden

Posted on April 5, 2020 by

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Just a few of the things in my garden right now.

Flowering currant with ladybird
Dandelion
Rosemary
Lovage
Rhododendron blossom
Moroccan mint
Dwarf curry plant

NaPoWriMo Day 2: Something Changed

Posted on April 3, 2020 by

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749px-Common_Eastern_Bumble_Bee_(Bombus_impatiens)_-_Kitchener,_Ontario_01

A witch of the wind I’ve always been

Smelling out the change in seasons

Through the breaths between the words

The inhale before each breeze

Which leaves a blossom scented stillness

Or in autumn, the petrichor of rotting leaves and rain

Or in winter, the crisp promise of snow

But now, on April’s second noon

The honey-flicked bee buzz wing of blue sky

Smells of hope.

 

Image via Wikimedia Commons,, Common Eastern Bumble Bee (Bombus Impatiens) by Ryan Hodnett, 2018. 

NaPoWriMo Day 1: The Fallen

Posted on April 2, 2020 by

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I cried last night

I guess I already told you

But it’s rare for me

Despite chronic depression

A range of anxieties

Suspected other conditions

Where diagnosis only failed through

Lack of time and effort

So I feel sad, a lot

But I rarely cry

I howl in frustration

Gnashing at the moon

Grinding teeth in rage

At patriarchal nonsense

Tears spitting venom at

Anti-vaxxers

Cat-callers

Ableist cockwombles

Racist shitbags

Homophobic grease stains

Transphobic hypocrites

But I rarely cry

In sorrow.

Last night, I did;

I cried, I sobbed, I pulled myself into a foetal position and

Hacked out raw, ragged breaths

Just for a while

Just for everything

Just to breathe in the pain.

Help is Not on the Horizon

Posted on April 1, 2020 by

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It was my birthday yesterday. I ended the day by having a big cry. I was a bit in my cups, to be fair, but this morning I sat and analysed why I was feeling so low.

It’s not the isolation. I can cope with that. It’s not spending a birthday in the house with less stuff than usual- that’s quite normal and we had a lovely day. Homemade cards, good food, and even a bottle of gin that the hubby had stashed away at some point.

It’s the sense of abandonment by the government. I found out that even though I am self-employed, because I only became self-employed in March of last year, I don’t qualify for any financial support. There is nothing to help the thousands of freelancers and sole traders who, like me, took a chance or an opportunity to turn their passion into a business. If I’d decided to take that step a year earlier, I would be looking forward to some financial aid in June to make up for all the many, many lost clients who can’t stay open during this crisis or who have had to cut costs dramatically.

I called the official government helpline for businesses (if you need it, it’s 0300 456 3565) and was told: “To be brutally honest, you won’t get any support.” Wow.

I’ve applied for universal credit. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, if you know anyone who needs some high-quality content writing for their business, I’m ready and waiting!

Home Schooling Hope

Posted on March 30, 2020 by

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Today wasn’t quite as I expected it to be. I thought we’d all get up early, get breakfast, burn some calories with Joe Wicks then settle down to some Purple Mash or fractions and be done by early afternoon.

Instead, everyone slept in. However, as everyone was surprisingly good at bedtime the night before, the promised incentive of pancakes was delivered, making for a long and leisurely brunch. The sun came out so we sacked YouTube off and ran around in the garden. One boy sulked because he was convinced the other boy was “cheating” at doing laps. The other boy did five extra laps, making it a moot point.

By this point it was nearly lunch time, so one did Purple Mash which wouldn’t work and kept saying he hadn’t done stuff, while the other did some fractions work that seemed akin to quantum mechanics.

Post-sandwich, one boy needed to practice piano, but was so exhausted by this point that everything was a struggle. Cue lots of hugs and affirmations. After this we sacked everything off and had spag bol and garlic bread.

They definitely didn’t get as much done as they would have done at school, but both of us big folks are working too, and the smallest person was being entertained amongst all of this, so I’m pretty proud of everyone and pretty hopeful. If every day goes “wrong” in the way today has, I think we’ll all be okay. Phew!

Willingly Isolated

Posted on March 28, 2020 by

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Day 12 of being in the house and practicing proper social distancing. Day 8 of full isolation due to symptoms. Day 5 of UK lockdown.

I got really emotional this morning. No idea why. I have so much to do, so many tasks to be done. Yet I suddenly felt useless, worthless; depression reading it’s ugly head.

But it’s not because I’m isolated. In fact, as I mentioned to a friend earlier, in some ways I’d be happy to wait this whole thing out without ever leaving the luxurious confines of my house (not actually luxurious) and back garden (pretty nice, thanks hubby). The actions of others who refuse to social distance or even take the epidemic seriously genuinely scare me. I don’t want to put my hands on a supermarket trolley that’s been coughed over by a symptomatic individual who refused to stay home. I don’t want to risk someone pushing past me to get to the butter, as happened to a friend yesterday. I don’t want to have someone cough in my face or watch them cough over the fresh produce, as one of my siblings witnessed the other day. It frightens me.

But there are so many people doing good things, wonderful things. Neil Gaiman has given everyone free rein to use his work for online videos. LeVar Burton has taken this permission and run with it.

The Pagan Federation is putting something online for the community every single day- an impressive feat! Today is a huge online discussion about symbolism, spread across four PF groups. Plus, there’s a chance to win some fabulous Moon Books prizes. Thanks to everyone doing wonderful things.

Writing for Change

Posted on March 27, 2020 by

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Covid-19 U.K. lockdown day 4, self isolation day 7, social distancing day 11; I think. Starting to lose track now!

This blog post is slightly self-indulgent, but I think we all deserve a little self-indulgence from time to time! I’ve been going through my accounts carefully to try and get my finances in order. As a freelance writer, this has meant going back over the paid work I’ve done over the past year. I’ve been delighted to rediscover some of the topics I’ve covered, which include:

  • Environmentally friendly green facades and living walls
  • How animals improve mood
  • Musicians like Yvette Landry who do amazing things for their local communities
  • Articles for adult websites which are sex positive for all genders and make a point to include the LGBTQA+ readers
  • Nutrition articles which avoid focusing on weight or body shape

I hope that by choosing to write on these topics, in a positive and inclusive way, I’m encouraging readers to be more positive and inclusive too. It might only be a small change in a big world, but I felt like giving myself a little pat on the back for any impact I may have had.

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